Suicide is defined as the act of intentionally causing one’s death. Whose intentions exactly?
Leading cause of suicide is said to be depression. The internet is full of statistics, reports, studies, research papers, reflecting causes and numbers. No need to quote any of these to understand that one is most certainly mentally unstable to be thinking of or actually committing suicide. What is more important is to analyze what is it that leads to such extreme instability? Perhaps it may lead to answering the question initially put up. Whose intentions exactly leads to a suicide?
Anxiety is said to drive a person crazy, to the extent that it may become difficult to maintain relationships or carry on with a normal life. Bipolar disorder, essentially revolving around extreme mood swings, once again rendering it difficult to maintain a balance in life or carry on normal relationships with friends and family. Depression is a massive contributor to suicide. Some sources mention untreated depression to be the reason behind almost 90% cases of suicide. The loneliness, the irrelevance, no sense of belonging and solitude results in greater risk of suicidal thoughts which may eventually materialize. Other reasons include traumatic experiences like physical or sexual abuse. The helplessness, guilt and shame renders one unable to move on. Being bullied at a young age, for instance, may become a part of one’s personality with a deep-rooted feeling of being worthless, once again leading to depression. Substance abuse, more often than not, is a result of the innate desire to get over painful memories and hopelessness or to feed the yearning to belong.
In most cases, regardless of the various reason mentioned, one finds self being questioned upon the purpose of being. Individuals ultimately arrive at their destiny of existential crises at which stage, they see no purpose, no meaning, once again leading to major trauma, depression, loneliness. Most of these individuals feel utter absence of any logic behind life, hence, suicide.
It is certainly not easy to deal with such ‘ailments’. The weight may be unbearable for many to carry on. What is even more perturbing are the expectations of the ‘normal’ people associated with those suffering. The quoting of religion is even more disturbing. It is difficult to decide which one is more mentally unstable. The one who is contemplating suicide or the one who is expecting the former to understand and make perfect sense and be logical. Here, the subject are individuals who are extremely disturbed, yet, these individuals are expected to call a friend, seek help, reach out, change the lifestyle. This can be equated to asking a blind man to ‘watch’ where he is going. Those expecting the subject to ‘understand’ and make ‘sensible’ decisions seem to have missed the plot.
Almost all conditions leading to suicidal thoughts or suicide have one thing is common. That is, absence of the human bond. In most cases, a human is pushed into such feelings leading to suicide by another human causing the trauma, the unacceptable experience, the solitude, the feeling of being worthless. Furthermore, there are a lot more than one human who are at play, silently observing and not taking any action, further pushing the individual into the void. This must be hard to believe but there is no other truth.
It is fashionable to blame the victim and suicide is no different. And certainly this seems
to be the case with suicide as well. The fact is, a smile, a hand on the shoulder, an embrace, a glance, talk, visits, financial assistance and some such simple activities can make an enormous difference. All this communicates a simple, yet most important message to the victim. And that is, ‘You are not alone. I am here for you.’ If the ‘normal’ people took it upon themselves to change, to be tolerant, to be more caring instead of isolating and pushing the victim into loneliness, it may make a difference and save lives.
Suicide is a murder at the hands of those who can but do not make a difference. The apathy is at the epicenter. Those committing suicide may be unwell and the ailment is more often than not, a result of something done or not done by those who are well.
Take responsibility, reach out, no matter how difficult it may be, those with a genuine concern can feel there is trouble and can make a difference by ignoring how unacceptable the victim’s behavior may be. The intentions to take one’s own life can crumble and disintegrate when faced with the intentions to love, care and save.
Persevere. Save lives. Be the cure, not the toxin.