In Search of Truth…

The inquest of truth, a dilemma faced by every single soul. Life, often spent wandering in search. In search of the truth. In search of a lot more than what meets the eye. In search of the meanings of what is revealed between the lines. In search of the words hidden behind the writing on the wall. In search of the path which leads to salvation. All are nomads on a never-ending journey in search of truth.

I am no one but you. I too, spent a significant part of my life searching. I went to Makkah, the Holy City. I stared at Ka’aba for long, in search. I felt peace. I saw pigeons flying around. I heard the silence tell me of the greatest humans who treaded on those grounds. Each leaving an everlasting impression, as if etching something on my soul. I left the city and I asked myself, have I found what I searched for? Perhaps a little. I went to a Borobudur, one of the most magnificent edifices on the island of Java. The largest Buddhist temple in the world. I felt the wind blow ever so peacefully. The green around that place was life. I could smell the ashes that covered this temple for ages. The wind carried with it stories of centuries from the time of Kingdom of Sailendra. As I left, I once again wondered if I have found what I was looking for. I heard the gong, echoing in the emptiness of the surroundings. With a certain degree of peace, not so complete, I proceeded further. Further, in search. As I moved on, I found myself at the Papal Basilica of Saint Peter in the Vatican. Yet another peaceful experience as the chimes sang to me the sagas from 319 AD as the foundations were laid by Emperor Constantine. The Psalms of David took a part of me on a small journey. A journey through eras. Indeed a travel extraordinaire. I rested a while before stepping out. On the stairs, I stopped momentarily and looked back. Once again, I found myself bewildered as I thought to myself, is this it? I was a little tired and did not realize when I fell asleep on the stairs. I woke up after what seemed like passing of an age. My eyes were shunned as I faced the bright of the sun. It took me a while to figure out that I was at The Belz Great Synagogue in Jerusalem. I sat at a distance watching all persons of different ages wearing Kippas of various designs. I followed one of them inside and once again got lost in search. The silence was deafening. I felt peace, yet again, not to the fullest. I lingered on, aged a bit since I started. With my vision, not so clear anymore and my hearing impaired, I walked along the western coast of Gujrat, India. I finally arrived at the great Somnath Mandir. This great monolith spoke loudly of its resilience as I met with its seventh version after being destroyed six times. I rang the bell and continued my way inward. I sat in the patio for a while and watched a number of people come and go, all sorts of worried, joyous, concerned, calm faces. Each in own world, lost. Spent a day there, listening to bhajans and soothing music. That day also passed as I decided to come back home. Not so satisfied in my search.

On the way back, for some odd reason, after having been to the most pious of places, I felt empty-handed. With my head drooping and my back arched, I kept on walking. Walking home, thinking to myself I gathered momentary peace but nothing to the satisfaction of my soul.

I continued to walk by a river, I was astonished. I heard the water rushing by, in its own world. And I heard the verses of Quran in the rush of water. I stopped, and thought of Ka’aba and asked, why did I not hear the same there. I smiled and I sat on the river bank as Rahman was flowing by right in front of me. As the water wrapped around the rocks, I saw Amida’s Golden Chain being knotted flawlessly, something I could not witness when I was in Borobudur. As the water hit the banks, with each passing gush, I listened carefully. My senses sharpened as I was touched by the sound of the water at the bank. I sat quietly amidst a patch of golden flowers with perfectly arranged five petals each. I, yet again, was amazed to hear the Psalms of David, nothing like I heard at the Papal Basilica of Saint Peter in the Vatican. I sat there in awe, feeling my soul being filled, as I was being absorbed. I moved back a little and looked at the flowers. Intensely, closely. By God, I did not see such Shamus and Chanukkah candles even at the Belz Great Synagogue. Each, ablaze with a blessing of its own. The light of which pierced through every pore of my skin into my being. I pushed myself backwards till my back was resting against a tree. From a distance now, I saw drops of water hit the golden flowers. Each, when hit by a drop of water gushing downstream, would sway back and forth in perfect motion making the most melodious of sounds. I could not help but think of the bells of Somnath Mandir. Why did those bells not ring and sway with such perfection as this?

I smiled. My soul became full. My quest ended. I smiled, from within. Every moment was sinking in and becoming a part of me as I heard the perfection of Aayaas while I became a part of Amida’s Golden Chain as David sang to me while the evening was perfectly lit by the Shamus and the Chanukkah Candles, a melody with the perfect touch of the bells ringing in the air.

I went all over the world to find God and I found the answer to my quest in a place which was not Muslim, Buddhist, Christian, Jewish or Hindu. I found myself. I found God.


About baahirezaman

A banker by profession and a human by nature. I have views, opinions, observations about anything and everything with the remotest and slightest effect on human life, even a single one.

24 thoughts on “In Search of Truth…

  1. Amin ur Rahman says:

    A most beautiful depiction… like a journey of the soul. Interesting, captivating and felt like the reader is going through those places in person….

  2. K says:

    This is your best piece ever! so beautifully written!

  3. reemahasnain says:

    omg! what a treat … absolutely loved it!

  4. mohsin says:

    Nice. Truth lies within our hearts and as they say “who finds himself finds God”

  5. Anika Khan says:

    I felt peace, love and myself going through all this while reading. Beautiful piece. Cheers!

    • baahirezaman says:

      Anika, Thank you very much for your kind words. I can’t describe the feeling when a writer is able to make the reader feel the same. I am glad it could make you feel peace and I pray your life be full of peace and happiness.

  6. Zubina says:

    Brilliant piece Ali…..from your heart to my heart, filled me with peace and tranquility. Thanks

    • baahirezaman says:

      Thank you very much Zubina. I feel even more peace in your kind words. I pray we rise above the trivial issues as a people of peace and understand the puzzle of life. One missing piece and the whole picture is incomplete. Thank you once again.

  7. rax says:

    Dhhondte hain aap se usko parey
    Shaikh saahab chor ghar bahar chale

  8. Aamna says:

    I’m reading you for the first time. I loved what you wrote. I hope to find myself too one day. I do have a question though.. what is the next step? In life.. find yourself, find god. THEN WHAT? how does one apply that in one’s life?

    • baahirezaman says:

      Dear Aamna. Thank you for taking time out and reading this article. I am not a guru, neither am I a sufi. However, I shall try and address your query to the best of my understanding of life, almost 40 years of which I have spent already. What I write above is a synopsis of my learning. It took me that long to understand and find myself. However, I am gald I was able to find out what I did. I pray you too find yourself. You ask what next… Well, to me it is simple. Once you attain that level of understanding where you have found yourself, found god, you become one with nature. And as you become one, the feeling of oneness gives you life and the longing to become more and more entwined. That is when you feel like nothing but an extension of god or the supreme spirit, as it may be. That is when you seize to exist for yourself and become a lover. Every smile of which you are a cause, becomes a reason for you to want to sleep at night and wake up just one more time in the morning, only to see someone else smile. Because of you. And that is the attainment after which you become self-actualized. The entire nature, the rays of sun, the color of the flowers, the chirping of a cricket becomes your life and your connect and your reason to be happy from within. That is when you smile from your soul, not with your lips.

      Such is my understanding. I am sharing with you a part of my soul and I pray you understand the meaning of what I have said.

      • Ali you have chosen a very difficult subject thtough you have written well hoewever since the experiences are very subjective therefore cannot be understood through objective analysis. The piece needs to be appreciated nevertheless.

  9. Talha Masud says:

    I am speechless. You speak hearts.

  10. imaansheikh says:

    Your prediction about my verdict on this was right. I love it. Beyond excellent writing skills and great, penetrating message. You have produced a gem. I’ll be looking forward to more pieces by you. 🙂

  11. Abdul Jabbar says:

    Excellent piece of writing I have ever read.

  12. Qurrat Aamir says:

    My dearest Ali. this is the first time in my life that i read your heart i had no idea before that my little bro has so much in heart hidden which needs to expose….Ali you are gifted and blessed by powerful thoughts to share and change our hearts too…my all duas love and thoughts for you till my last breath…Allah bless you and your family with long life and abundant happiness with health and wealth…love you baby yours Baj

    • baahirezaman says:

      Thank you Baj… For your kind words and prayers. The fact that we are siblings and you are just now getting to know me as you mentioned above, is a reflection of the quest and the mysteries. If you think you did not know me till I am almost 40 years of age and we are siblings, how is it possible to know the supreme being and the mysteries. Even many lifetimes may not be enough. It is almost as if the closer you get, the farther you are. Do you remember Entebbe, Uganda, and how we tried to walk to Lake Victoria and every time we went farther and yet it seemed to get farther away instead of coming closer 🙂

      God bless 🙂

  13. Omer Farooq says:

    “What you seek is seeking you.”
    ― Rumi

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